Let's talk religion: The magical Ark vs the tragic Titanic

Ah Noah's Ark, in the U.S. there is a staggering number of people who believe the story to be true. What's weird about this is that so many people say that the Bible can't be taken seriously for its fantastical stories. If people believe in Noah's Ark, but can't believe in a majority of the Bible, how can they assert that they are a Christian/Catholic with full knowledge that they have turned their objective religion into a subjective one? I digress, the point of this article is Noah's Ark, not picking apart the modern Christian ideology and whether it's subjective or not. Now, let's have a discussion and take a look at the facts and mathematics behind the whole thing. Then I shall compare it to superstition, are you all ready?

First we'll talk about the biblical scriptures of the story. The Bible states that Noah was commissioned by an omniscient, omnipotent, benevolent and all-knowing being (take a few moments to see how ridiculous that sounds) to build a great ark to hold 2 of every animal since he plans on killing all humans with a great flood, except for Noah's family. Noah, being roughly 30 - 50 years old, asks his first and only son (churches insist on teaching that he had 3 sons when he did this, please read the Bible) to give him a hand with this.

It took them both 20 years to build this ark, which was 200 metres long, 150 metres high, and 50 metres wide. It then took them 7 days to load the ark with two of every species. The flood then lasts 98 years. Then Noah and his family repopulate the Earth by partaking in incestuous sex for hundreds of years. Noah dies at the ripe between 600-750 years old (different copies of the bible print different things). At this time, according to your precious Bible, the Earth was populated by about 1,000,000 humans and BILLIONS UPON BILLIONS of animals from every species collectively. Do you know how ridiculous this whole thing sounds? Go on, read it out loud, be prepared to sound like a moron.

Now let's take a look at the facts. Let's compare this great ark to the Titanic. Now the Titanic wasn't much larger that the ark itself, being approximately 268 metres long, 30 metres wide and just as high (there are all estimates), could only hold roughly 3-4000 people and could hold roughly 5000 tonnes in weight. It was also made completely out of steel, iron, cast iron and aluminium, with 6 layers of tempered steel protecting the hull and the entire casing of the build of the ship.

With thousands of workers it still took 4 years, being started on March 31 1901 and being completed with outfitting on March 31 1912. Let's take this data and see how long it should have taken Noah and his only son to build this ark. 3000 men over 4 years, take this figure of progression and you can find that only 25% of progress was made each year (on average, relative stats say otherwise). It took 2 people to make the ark. 2 people divided by 3000 is 6.66^e^-4, which is 0.00066.... Let's multiply this by the many of years it took to fully construct and outfit the Titanic. This is 0.0024. Therefore they made 0.24% of progress on the ark each year. Therefore it took 500 years to build the ark. This is humanly impossible, as it factors in working on Sundays (remembering that the Old and New Testament's alike stated that working on Sundays is punishable by death, hell it was enforced). Add an extra 1/7 of time onto those 500 years. This would extend the time by approximately 72 years. According to the mathematics and Christian logic, these guys should have died by the age of 40 - 50, well before construction on the Ark was finished (remembering that in these time, life spans were incredibly short, roughly 20-30 years). Sounding ridiculous yet? No? Need more evidence? Here's some for you.

The Spine-Tailed Swift is the fastest flying bird in the world, flying at 170 km/h. According to Biblical scriptures, this "vessel" was built in Egypt. Let's assume it was built in Cairo, just for the sake of argument. The distance from Australia (where the Spine-Tailed Swift migrates to during the Winter) to Cairo is approximately 8800 kilometres. It would take 51 hours for the bird to fly from here to Cairo non-stop, we all know that this is impossible. But say for example a polar bear were to try to get to Egypt, it's maximum velocity is 60 mph (96 km/h) whilst swimming and only 20 mph (32 km/h) whilst running. I'll save you all the maths and tell you that it would take a lot longer for the Polar Bear to reach Cairo, but it would die long before it would reach there due to overheating and being outside of its usual environment.

In conclusion,. the story of Noah's Ark is nothing more than a myth, superstition, it should not be taken seriously nor should you use it to indoctrinate your children or friends, because you never know when someone educated comes along and tears it all down.